Dear Abby: My Gen Z boyfriend’s weird daughter is making my life hell

Dear ABBY: I have been in a relationship with a man for the past five years. “Juliani” came into my life after my husband died. He is 65; I am 45 years old. Julian has two grown-up daughters, 36 and 27. The eldest and I get along well.

Amber is somewhat immature. She has two young children and is her father’s perfect, precious and precious daughter. The stark truth is that Amber is a shy, judgmental woman who thinks she’s better than everyone else. Because Julian wasn’t around while she was growing up, his guilt makes it especially hard for her to see her for who she is.

Amber and I don’t take care of each other and the cracks are starting to show. She is becoming a bone of contention in the relationship because I can’t stand how she uses guilt to manipulate her father. He was always a caring father and a good provider, if not always physically.

I’m at my wits end. It’s driving a wedge into an otherwise good relationship. When I try to talk to Julia, he won’t listen to anything against her. I understand it’s his child, but I’m sick of her. The worst part is when she plays it like she’s innocent and perfect. Any tips? — HAD IT IN THE WEST

DEAR It was: Yes, I have some. As you said, in Julian’s eyes, his “little girl” is perfect and precious. You’re not going to win this battle, so start backing off and find a new direction—or a new lover. Please accept my sympathy.

Dear ABBY: After I retired and moved to a beach town, I invited my brother and sister-in-law to visit. They said they had a really good time, organized a preview visit and seemed grateful. I’m used to living alone, so always having people around was uncomfortable for me. They are retired but work part-time.

One of my brother’s jobs is in the company of a friend of mine where he had done some work in the past. I connected with them again and my brother really liked it. But now he is pressuring me to invite that friend and his wife to come here and stay at my house.

I think it’s out of line for someone to suggest that I invite someone else to stay here. I wouldn’t have invited my brother and sister-in-law except that he is family. (He actually gets on my nerves when I’m around him for too long.) I ignored his suggestion and will move on unless he brings it up again. Is a non-response acceptable? – The Reluctant Brave in TEXAS

DEAR NIKORT: A non-response is a strong “hint” that someone is not receptive to a request or a suggestion. whether your brother brings up the subject again, however, you need to make it clear that you are not open to anyone outside of your immediate family staying in your home with you.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.