Parents are blaming Santa’s ‘bad list’ to keep kids in line, survey finds

These adults deserve a lump of coal.

A new survey by CS Mott Children’s Hospital of the University of Michigan, Health, has found that about a quarter of parents do the unthinkable to their three- to five-year-olds: threaten to cancel Santa Claus and gift-giving .

Of course, Mott Poll co-director Dr. Susan Woolford said, “Discipline helps young children learn what behaviors are safe and appropriate,” but she realized that this “bad” or nice approach is not how to go about it.

“Empty threats, however, undermine trust and credibility and are usually ineffective. Positive reinforcement and consistent discipline are more likely to shape long-term behavior.”

Many other parents of children aged one to five in the survey admitted that they can become stubborn or inconsistent in disciplining their children when they act out. The reason, mainly, is to prevent a public meltdown.

Another quarter of parents admitted that they were very upset with their children despite the child’s inability to understand what was happening.

“It can be difficult to have a consistent approach to discipline without consideration and planning—and even then, consistency can be difficult, especially when parents are tired, confused, or feeling overwhelmed,” Woolford said.

“It’s important for parents to plan ahead and be on the same page with discipline strategies to provide a foundation for understanding expectations and prevent sending mixed signals about boundaries.”

In other cases, half of the parents surveyed bribed their children for good behavior. Woolford, however, advised avoiding anything that might “result in short-term compliance but have negative effects later.”

Instead, she suggested finding something age-appropriate for the child. Woolford said to think about distraction over discipline in the case of one to two year olds. Children at that age rarely misbehave on purpose, but are simply exploring their environments for the first time.

However, after the age of two, she said, children begin to understand the cause and effect of their actions. When children act around the age of three, the punishment should fit the crime.

Woolford used the example that a child who spills his drink in anger must be forced to clean it up and resolve everything here and there. An unrelated punishment, like threatening to take away Christmas, doesn’t work either.

“Consequences should be immediate, so the child understands the connection to their bad behavior.”

Woolford added that children often react differently to different discipline tactics, so parents need to stay flexible.

“As children grow, their reactions to discipline will also change, so parents need to adapt their strategies and stay open to new approaches,” she said.

“Balancing correction with positive reinforcement—such as praise and rewards—helps children build self-esteem by learning from their mistakes.”