A mother writing on Reddit shared an unusual experience. She said her daughter had been invited to join a friend on a family vacation to Costa Rica — but when her daughter returned, the mom was presented with a bill for the travel expenses from the other family.
The distraught mother took to social media to find out if her shock over the situation was justified.
On the social media platform, the mother wrote, “OK so my daughter (16) went to Costa Rica with a friend and her parents and grandparents. I thought they would only pay us for her food and activities like ziplining. Nope .They are also asking for a share of her accommodation and rental car.”
Confused, the mother wondered on Reddit if the guest meant that basic travel expenses would be covered by her friend’s parents.
Mom wrote, “Why on earth did I assume she was tagging along?”
She went on to say that she has adopted other people’s children in a similar way — and thought that was protocol.
“We did this for my daughter’s friend two years ago,” the mother continued.
Mom appeared surprised by the heavy bill presented to her by the other family.
“I would never dream of charging so much when I go [on a trip] anyway!”
Rather than cause a ruckus, the mother said she’ll likely pay the tab to calm things down and get it over with.
“We have the money, that’s why [isn’t going to] break me”, she wrote.
She said she wanted to deal with the matter amicably with the parents of her daughter’s friend.
“I just want to have a conversation,” added the diplomatic mother.
The Reddit community was concerned about her problem.
A commenter named “Illustrious-Award-55” said it was unusual to be presented with a bill, but he agreed with the mother’s decision to raise.
“I think it’s weird to do this after the fact,” the person wrote.
“Lesson learned to talk about things ahead of time. The parent should just pay the bill and move on.”
Other commenters shared the philosophy of thanking the family for taking the child and reimbursing any expenses the family requests.
And the next time her daughter is “invited” to a family trip – people said she should decline the invitation.
“Pay,” user “Consistent_Pay_74” wrote in the woman’s post.
“Repeat your thanks for taking him and never allow him to take such a trip with ‘non-family’ again,” this person wrote.
“Stay gracious, but know that they have told you who they are—” and you must believe them. Sticky!”
Fox News Digital reached out to an etiquette expert about the matter.
To ensure there is clarity about money issues — and because there will be costs associated with a family taking in another child — the best course of action is to talk about expectations, one expert said.
“If there’s going to be a cost, the host should make that clear up front,” said Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert and owner of the Texas Protocol School in San Antonio.
She said an invitation is different from a vacation.
“Regarding the mother conundrum, some proactive discussion would have been a better path,” Gottsman said.
“Assumptions are dangerous,” she also said. “The parent or guardian of this girl would have been better served to ask what expenses [she] would be responsible for coverage.”
But she also said the host family should have been more open about their intentions as well.
“They can pre-order the plane ticket and help with lodging and food, but getting rental cars is difficult,” Gottsman said.
She said the most effective and polite way to address an invitation from a friend’s family is to say, “Thanks for the invitation. What expenses do we have to cover?”
The truth behind why parents let their kids take a friend on a trip isn’t a secret, Gottsman said.
“Usually, parents bring a friend of their child with them to make the trip more enjoyable for their child. And, paying for some or all of the expenses is not unusual,” she said.
And while asking a friend’s parents to cover some of the costs is fine – timing matters.
“Budgets are different, but a host doesn’t ask for money unless it’s clearly communicated in advance,” Gottsman told Fox News Digital.
“The moral of the story is never assume anything when expenses are involved.”
Another important issue: The parents of the invited child must give their children an amount of money for each extra.
“When you send your child with another family, even if the other family has offered to cover most of the expenses, it is important to send enough money for the expenses with your children so that they can offer to pay the way theirs for special activities, buy a treat or dessert for yourself and other family members, or spend money on souvenirs,” Gottsman said.
“You want to make sure your child is comfortable and has some cash in their wallet for an unexpected emergency.”
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