A woman has explained that she had to make a tough phone call to her relatives while planning her wedding.
She revealed that her biological mother lived with her for two years, but before that, “She ignored me most of my life.”
“THE MOTHER who told bio mom she won’t walk me down the aisle?”
The woman provided further context in an online group, asking for advice:
“My boyfriend and I have finally taken the next step and started talking and planning our wedding,” she wrote.
“That includes who will walk me down the aisle. I don’t want the traditional “father of the bride giving away his daughter”, but I do want both parents to walk me down the aisle as they have done so much for me.
“Here’s the thing; I am adopted. My biological mother did not raise me nor did she contribute to my upbringing in any way. She actually ignored me for most of her life and was not committed to attending any milestones (college or university graduation, birthdays, etc.)
“In the last two years, she has become quite a frequent person in my life. We have resolved most of the differences and moved forward. She even lives with me currently.
“I have made the decision that she will be invited to the wedding and will be with the waiting family table, but she will not walk me down the aisle.
“I want my adoptive parents to do this since they’ve raised me since I was seven and have actually been present and supportive in my life.”
The woman’s biological mother did not receive this news well at all, strongly “abducting” her daughter and “crying”, prompting the future bride to doubt herself.
“Lucky to be invited at all”
Commenters on the post felt strongly about the news and gave her their full support.
“Your birth mother is lucky you’re inviting her at all. Make it clear that you want the parents who raised you to be the ones to walk you down the aisle. If she’s not okay with it or you think she’s going to make a fuss at the wedding, then reconsider whether or not she should be invited,” one firmly advised.
This response showed concern for the poster as well: “Honestly this expectation – and certainly her response – makes me doubt that she is a healthy presence in your life, especially living with you.
“What would she expect your adoptive parents’ roles to be? Start with a strong conversation with her, in which you instruct her not to whine, complain and take the blame, because you do not need to tolerate this from her.
“She sounds manipulative AF. Please be careful what you allow her to do in your life, you are giving her too much access to someone you have only grown close to in the past few years, given the larger story.”
Another commenter shared their view even more bluntly, writing: “That’s pretty rich considering she gave you up for adoption and wasn’t in your life at all. I thought it was very worthy of you to invite him to the wedding, with a seat at your table. But this captioned reaction from her might make you reconsider.”
Many others agreed that the bio mother’s “blame” moves were the real issues.
“What makes your bio mom AH is the fact that she’s prepared to blame you for it, that’s totally out of whack,” wrote one, while another said: “Two years of contact doesn’t erase her abandonment or all the work that your foster parents did to raise you.”
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Image Source : nypost.com