Crying girls who post tearful videos online reveal why they do it: ‘It’s almost like sex’

It doesn’t get much sadder than tears for power.

The generation that bought us mental health buzzwords “delulu” [delusional] and “menty b” [mental breakdown] is used to seeing the tears of their stressed-out peers, even stars like Bella Hadid and Justin Bieber, on social media — bravely, for the whole world to see.

While followers and friends flocked to their support with praise for their brave display of vulnerability, others dismissed the tearful spectacle as “trembling” pleas for attention.

Amie McNee, a writer and creative coach — who previously posted a public video of herself crying — spoke to CNN about why crying online can be so cathartic.

“It’s almost like sex,” McNee said. “It’s really private and the public culture doesn’t want to see you do it.

McNee, 32, hoped to find an online community that would relate to her experiences in her writing career as an aspiring author and the rejection she had faced. She has shared everything on social networks, including tears.

“I wanted to be a witness in pain,” she explained, noting that she didn’t reach for her phone simply because she felt like she was going to cry, but instead wanted to be seen and supported by her followers.

Some people cry online to satisfy unmet emotional needs and to cope with the lack of a support system in real life. For example, Tristan Blackwood told the medium that he had trouble making friends as a teenager and would share TikToks of himself crying while venting.

“I just wanted to be validated,” he admitted. “(I was thinking) somebody, please look at me. I need help.”

While some claim they aren’t seeking attention, others admit that tears drive traffic and engagement.

“It gave me my whole career on social media,” Emmy Hartman told CNN about a video of hers that went viral in 2017, when she shared a rollercoaster of her 17-year-old emotions in a two-minute clip.

“Now you have crying and tears as a way to generate engagement, views, likes, clicks and help build your brand,” added Ysabel Gerrard, a senior lecturer in digital media and society at the University of Sheffield, England. .

“It’s winnable in a way that literally never has been in society.”

However, as a viewer, it’s hard to tell what’s authentic and what’s just a show – and Jess Rauchberg, a researcher who studies digital cultures and social media, said it’s important to be aware of who’s posting the tearful video and what serves them. posting it.

“There are moments when we have to ask ourselves: Is this authentic? Is this believable? And what is the use of this crying after?” she said.

“If every form of communication, even face-to-face without smartphones, is a performance of self… and you’re putting forward a specially crafted version of yourself, can a crying video really be authentic?”