Dear Abby: I lost my wife 14 years ago. We were married for 26 years. Our two children are now adult. Since then I have been remarried and transferred to another state.
My children love and respect their stepmother. I have five grandchildren living within 15 minutes from my current home. I love them, and they love me too.
My first wife’s gravity is in the small town where we lived, about 90 miles away.
My question is about my last place of rest. So I look for burial with my children’s mother, or in a place of choosing my current wife near my current home, after all to be buried next to her?
What about the celebration, where my ashes can be divided between the two gravins? I don’t care, but I want to make a choice that will make everyone comfortable.
Haves have made others in this situation, as I suspect this issue is not rare? – Planning forward in Delaware
Dear Planning: Your question is difficult because I’m sure you want to make them all happy and avoid any conflict after your death.
Your idea of celebration so that your grace can be separated between the two gravites seems sensitive to me.
However, because I am not an expert when it comes to burial arrangements, I asked your question in the Alliance of Funeral Customer (funerals.org), who had one more question for you. Was: “Have you talked to your wife, your children and the extended relatives about it?”
Once you have made these important family discussions and make a decision, make sure your wishes are documented in a form of disposition from your current state of residence.
Doing this can prevent family drama at the time of your death. Kudos for you for planning ahead.
Dear Abby: For a long time now, I have lived in the past, thinking how excellent it was and how fun it was. I am also obsessed with an old girlfriend who cheated and split with me to sleep with the “other woman”.
Abby, that was 48 years ago! I have been married for 35 years but have not been happy because I do not know when.
My husband is a wonderful guy, but I don’t feel anything for him anymore. There is no way for me to divorce it. He has many medical issues, and I could never do it. What can I do? – yesterday’s daughter in Florida
Dear yesterday’s girl: It can help to remove those pink glasses and return to the present.
The man you are obsessed with when he betrayed you and threw you. Time time to take another look at why you married your husband.
While your passion for him may have called and his health is not the greatest, these things sometimes happen while people grow old.
You need a residence adjustment that can include conversation with a licensed psychotherapist. If you do this, it can help you save yourself from your unhealthy preiocupation.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby on Dearabby.com or Yes Box 69440, Los Angeles, Ca 90069.
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