I’m a stressed mother of a 14-year-old here, why don’t blame women who don’t want children

Like many of you, I have found the parenting of the very designated parents.

When I returned my first daughter in 2010, I experienced severe postpartum depression, something common in Australia, where one in five women face PND.

While I love my children very much, I don’t love my mother. It’s hard every day.

“I’m not ready to be a parent of a teenager”

I would assume that the mental and household load will sit while they were old, but that has not been so. I have recently confessed to a friend with older children who, “I’m not ready to be the parent of a 14-year-old girl.â €

She laughed and replied: “Yes. Nothing can prepare you for this. Children become older, and their problems become bigger.â €

When children are young, parents worry about things like food and teeth. As they grow, the shares move. Parents of adolescents face issues such as self-harm, suicidal thoughts, drug use, body dysmorphia, racial identity, extreme internet attacks and school rejection. Mental health problems in our youth have increased by Covid.

Ten years ago, I write about my parents’ battles and met with harsh reactions, including hate mail from a man who called me a lonely whore. (Who are beautiful people, blooming people, by the way).

This type of vitriol against mothers expressing doubts about parents is common, but raises an interesting question: Why are you a society that allows women to admit that parents are difficult, or even that they do not enjoy it?

Why do we make motherhood so difficult for women?

One major issue is that society needs people to have children in order to continue to function. That is why politicians panic when fertility rates fall. An aging population, without enough children to replace it, means less taxpayers to finance health care and education. This also decides in systems such as health and age care.

My question is: If we need women to have children, why do we make it so difficult for them?

A creator of the content I follow, Paige Turner, a mother of four, expressed her disappointment in a recent noise. She emphasized the hypocrisy of leaders who encourage women to have more children, but fail to provide the basic support needed to increase them.

It highlights obstacles such as lack of flexible work options, ill rest and protection in the workplace for mothers.

More babies, but do not expect any help to raise them, â € paige mocks. “You wanted this. You have more babies, but don’t complain. You chose this. You have more babies, but after you are born, you are yourself.â €

Paigeâ words frame the issue well. While it is easy to blame women who repent to have children, the real problem is how society is failing them. Would these women who have children regret if they were charged by so many challenges?

Gender inequality plays an important role here. Data from Hilda’s study show that Australian men are not doing more homework than they were 20 years ago, and women are doing 50% more homework than men. “

Many mothers, especially those with older children, are caught in the ES € Sandwich generation, taking care of older parents and growing children while often working full time.

This pressure can lead to “coping” mechanisms such as unhealthy use of alcohol. (Oh yes, I’ve been there!)

Among the exciting rats on the topic, a woman made a penetrating point. She said: “I 100% think that your experience as a mother depends a lot on two things: health and current resources.”

Correct. If we want women to have children – and not to regret it – we need to make sure they are supported than left to fight.