Dear Abby: I want to stop placing flowers in my parents’ graves

Dear abby: Both of my parents passed away quite recently – three years ago for my father and almost two for my mother. They are buried in the city where I live. All my other generations of their generation have also disappeared.

Put artificial flowers in their graves, but rarely pass there, and my children and grandchildren do not visit them. They have their memories of the time spent with my parents, like me. My husband and I plan to create and have distributed our grace.

I put the flowers because I want people to know that I respect my parents, but I often forget to change them a lot, which seems worse than not to decorate at all. I would like to stop, and must convince myself that it is eight. Is the serious decoration of a generative thing and is it the tendency not to do so on this day and age? – Severe questions in Western Virginia

Dear severe questions: Let me express my sympathy for the loss of your parents. The decoration of the tomb is a personal choice. Some individuals and families make it on the birthday of their beloved boyfriend; Others make it on the anniversary of death.

Time to show love and respect for our loved ones is While they are living. If you have done this, you have nothing to apologize to decide to scaling it again or rest.

Dear abby: My wife and I are retired. We live in a beautiful two -storey house we built 14 years ago. At that time, we thought it would be our last home, but in my opinion, it no longer meets our needs. I want to move and reduce. The problem is that my wife doesn’t.

During the 50 years of our marriage, we have lived in four houses, and whenever I wanted to move, it did not. It becomes emotionally tied in a house. I have explained to her that we need a home with a story or condo closer to our children living in the city.

Only the subject behavior bothers him a lot. I believe it will die before it does. She would give me peace knowing that after my funeral, she would return home and not have faced many problems.

When I die, our children will want her to go close to anyway. It will then have to coordinate and treat the movement itself – a massive work even with the help of our two sons. I can easily take the position I would leave, so what to care for, but I care.

I have lived for our marriage, and I would like to finish the job. Tips? –– Hero man in Ohio

Dear husband: I have some. You sign your letter “Hero Hero”, but hasn’t you happened to take care of and protect your wife in your zeal, you may have infantilized it? Her feelings on this topic must be respected.

Many widows (may be many, many years before it becomes one if it does not die first) find strength and skills that they did not know they had after the death of their husbands. What happens to this home should be a family decision, not just yours.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.dearabby.com or Yes Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.