Dear Abby: My brother -in -law built a death trap in his backyard, I call the cops?

Dear Abby: My brother -in -law thinks he is good with his hands. He built a deck on the back of his house, and it is clear that he is not a professional.

My husband and I are never sitting on his deck because it does not seem safe. (Others have said the same.)

He boasted about me how he left without having to withdraw any permission and never had the city to inspect it while building it. He also did not inspect it when he finished.

I am afraid of one day someone will be sitting on his deck and collapsing, and people will get hurt.

I am afraid if I call the city to report it and the city appears in his home or sending a letter or calling it, he will find out who reported it, even if I say I want to remain anonymous. (City records all phone calls, and they also have caller ID.)

When I try to talk to him about it, he told me to stay out because it is none of my business. So so I just keep my mouth shut and hope no one hurts? – relatively disturbed in Midwest

Relatively dear: Please do not keep your mouth shut! For now, the weather can be too cold for your brother -in -law to make any entry into that deck.

But the next time he is expecting friends and family, there may be an accident that can change life forever.

This must be reported before someone is injured or killed seriously.

Dear Abby: I’m falling for a man in the church. I’m a widow, and he is a widow. We have seen each other for about two months.

We talk about hours on the phone and in person. He is a writer, poet and musician. He reads me biblical poetry and verses and even sings to me. We are both laughing and happy.

Unfortunately, I have much more money than he.

He knows I have a beautiful older car, but he hasn’t seen the condo time. I’m afraid he would love me if he discovers I have a lot of money.

I want to help him update his apartment as he is very humble, and I don’t know how to do it.

I want to be honest with her and help her, but I’m afraid she will change things and that money will put a wall between us. Anydo advice you have will be useful. – Confused in Florida

Dear confused: Keep your mouth closed and your shutter closed. You’ve seen this man for only two months, and while you might think you are falling for him, he may not have fallen for you yet.

Do not redefine anyone’s apartment before you are in a dedicated relationship, if then.

The time to discuss which financial assets you have both would be when talking about marriage, and the place for that conversation may be the office of your lawyer or CPA. I can’t stress this too hard.

For my Irish readers: Happy St. Patrick Day!

“It may be the least to be the least.

May the best times you’ve ever had the worst you will ever see. “

Love, Abby

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby on Dearabby.com or Yes Box 69440, Los Angeles, Ca 90069.