Dear Abby: I was left out of my daughter’s wedding photos

Dear Abby: After getting married overseas, my daughter recently held a wedding ambush. My husband and his sister were able to attend the wedding. I couldn’t because of the serious business obligations, so I was really waiting for the local reception.

My sister -in -law, who lost her husband 18 months ago, sat next to me and cried most of the evening. Since I don’t see her often, I make a point to give her my full attention. At the end of the dinner, I got up to use the bathroom, which was located about 100 meters away. I’ve gone less than three minutes. I came back and left.

A few days later, my daughter posted a group photo from which I am in absentia. When I asked my husband about it, he replied, “You were in the bathroom.” I’m very hurt! He is supposed to be my lawyer. Why did his sister not say, “Let’s wait for the bride’s mother”? Now I’m not in any of the wedding photos and I feel betrayed by people who should have grown up for me at that important moment. I cried myself for hours afterwards. Should I keep my mouth shut as there is nothing I can do now, or tell how they let me feel invisible? – Absent in California

Dear Missing: When you have gone, you have to go. Yes, he was foolish for your husband, his sister and the bride not to have noticed or questioned your absence when taking the photos. But his behavior now will hardly make anyone feel better about supervision. A more proactive attitude would be to say, in FutureIf pictures are taken, it may make sense to make a call. Then hope they get you up.

Dear Abby: As a child, I was orally and emotionally abused by my only parent. I have written an unpublished book about my experiences. Would it be wrong to publish it while my abuser is alive? I would publish it using my real name. Other names I have changed in my writing.

For the last 15 years, I have not had a relationship with this parent. We live a continent away. They never arrived even when I fought from cancer. I think I’m still feeling the effects of air conditioning. I’m 60, with a family of mine. My husband for 35 years and our children, as well as a sister with whom I am very close, support my book publication. My sister also suffered the same fat. – Surviving south

Dear Surviving: If you think it would be cathartic to publish your autobiography, I encourage you to do it. However, before you do it, consult an attorney, in order to protect yourself if your abusive parent threatens to sue you for not masking them publicly.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.dearabby.com or Yes Box 69440, Los Angeles, Ca 900