Mothers and fathers who want to do a “good job” in raising successful children should resist saying these two small words.
“[Saying] ‘Good job’ does not harm children, ‘”explained children’s psychologist Becky Kennedy during a recent appearance on” The Timeriss Show “.
“But it’s a conversation,” she continued, adding that when a child shows an art project, school report or extracurricular achievement for their parents, they often seek certificates sincerely.
And a “good job” banal is just not as good as it should.
“At that moment, we want, as parents, to double in building our child’s faith,” Kennedy said. “Is it a ‘good job’, the best of all our options? Or should we have more tools in our tool box.”
And Kiddo Pro is hitting the nail on the head.
Lesley Koeppel, a psychotherapist in Manhattan, previously told the post that the offers of children without praise and community – such as being asked “how was school, today?
“It does not indicate that you have been interested in their ones, non-powers, decision making, friends, teachers or strengths,” Koppel warned.
“More influential to ask questions that focus on the child’s daily processes,” the mother of three said. “When do we accept our children’s feelings about the things they have experienced by asking something like,” What was the best part of your day? “It tells them we care in Trol, and it builds their self -esteem.”
Recent research agrees, saying terms such as “good guy” and “good girl” can also be the fruitless nugges of gratitude. Instead, specialists encourage mothers and fathers to focus on “praise of the process”.
It is a form of applause that is information, and provides children with reactions to their efforts and strategies to achieve a result.
Kennedy, too, say the best to trust the “process”.
“The thing that really builds on the confidence of children is to learn to magazine in front of your newspaper,” she revealed, saying that parents should be their tea adults.
The expert warned that the little ones who had no self-insurance insurance could grow to feel “empty, fragile and very worried”.
“When you are in the 20s and 30s, and you produce something-maybe it is art, maybe it is a project that is able to give yourself an appreciation of others and depression,” said Kennedy, a mother of three.
“Think about the desire and the search and despair of a” good job, “she said, admitting that getting a light compliment can be determined for parents.
“I know at first sounds annoying, I get it,” Kennedy assured. “But once you start. It gets easier.”
“Everything that helps your child share more about them actually ends up feeling better for your baby,” she said.
“Setting up your children feel good with themselves – even if you are not always getting [100%] – It is such a massive privilege and makes them work harder. “
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