Dear Abby: My rude family members don’t thank you – should I still give a wedding gift?

Dear Abby: A few years ago, we were invited to my cousin’s eldest daughter’s wedding. Although my cousin and I are close, I hardly know the girl. We were only invited because my cousin wanted me there. The wedding was out of town, which required a motel stay, food and gas, in addition to a generous cash gift. The gift of cash was what the couple had requested, as they had been living together and did not need household items.â

Our check was picked up two days after the wedding, but we never received a thank you. Three months later, I ran into the bride’s mother and asked her how the happy couple was doing. I also mentioned that we have never received an acknowledgment of our gift. She replied that her daughter had been busy and “apparently she didn’t have time” to send thanks.

Two years later, the same scenario unfolded when girl No. 2 married, and the mother offered the same exact excuse for her daughter’s poor behavior. We have now received a Save the Date card for Girl No. 3. I’m curious – what would you do? –– unknown in Indiana

Dear Unforgotten: If I felt close to the girl, I would attend the wedding. I’d give her a gift, I’d admit it probably wouldn’t be accepted because girls are never taught social graces. But I wouldn’t pre-penalize girl No. 3 For the sin of omission committed by her sisters.

Dear Abby: My first marriage lasted 31 years. He was a handsome man but a cool man. He died after a long illness. A year later, I started dating, met another man and fell in love. We dated for a year before he proposed.

Two months before the wedding, I called him out because he lacked community skills and was selfishly prepared. His comment was, “We talk at the dinner table. What more do you want?” The next day, I told him it was over.

Other than that, we got along well. He broke me. We traveled together, and he bought me beautiful jewelry. But he would send endless texts and never respond to mine. He didn’t even return a voicemail I left for him. When I returned the engagement rings and some jewelry, he told me to keep it.

I have asked him to leave me alone and stop contacting me. He still texts me about missing me, but he does nothing to fix it. I’m trying to move on, but every time I hear from him, it hurts. I missed him. How can I give up hope that he will change one day? –– Not built in California

Dear Ungrounded: You and this person may have enjoyed each other, but you don’t seem to speak the same language. It’s time you accepted that he won’t change. If you can’t accept him and his flaws, save yourself the pain of hearing from him by blocking his texts while you search for a better community.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.dearabby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.