My Brother Banned My Baby From His Wedding – So I’m Boycotting His Big Day

A woman has taken to Reddit after a dispute with her brother about attending his wedding without children.

The woman and her husband have a two-year-old child, whom she said is extremely kind and who she would like to attend the wedding with.

However, her brother refused – and now she doesn’t want to come to the wedding at all.

“I’m stuck in a no-win situation”

“My brother is getting married in two months and he recently informed me that his wedding will be “no children allowed”. I fully understand that not everyone wants children in their wedding and I have no problem with the concept in general. The problem is that my husband and I have a two-year-old daughter,” she said in the post.

“When I asked him if he could make an exception for him” since he’s not like a bunch of unruly kids, just a well-behaved toddler – he said no. He explained that they want an “elegant, adults-only” event, and having even one child there can make other family members feel like they can bring their kids, too.

The woman then explained that if her daughter couldn’t come to the wedding, she wouldn’t be able to either.

“I said that while I respect their choice, it would be really difficult for me to find reliable childcare for the day. My husband and I have no family nearby who can watch him and hiring someone to look after him for a whole day (plus the overnight stay required because the place is out of town) is expensive and a bit scary – especially since our daughter has never been with a nanny before,” she said.

“When I told my brother that I probably wouldn’t be able to attend under those conditions, he was upset. He said that I was being selfish and putting my child above my family and that this is his big day. The parents of now they’re ringing, saying I should understand because it’s his wedding and I’m the only sibling who isn’t showing support.

“I don’t want to ruin his day, but I also feel embarrassed leaving my child with a stranger in an unfamiliar city. I feel like I’m stuck in a no-win situation and my brother seems to think I’m a monster who doesn’t i’m just dealing with it.

‘The child first, the wedding second’

Many commenters on the post sympathized with the woman, saying that she has the right to decide to stay home with her child instead of attending a wedding where she is not accepted.

“You’re putting your child over family lol that’s your child. That’s what you have to do. He can go smash a drywall because it was his decision in the first place,” said one commenter.

“Baby first, wedding second,” agreed another.

“Enjoy the extra time you get to spend with your baby,” said a third.

“Let your husband stay at home”

However, even more said the woman was being unreasonable in asking her brother to house her daughter, and even more so in suggesting she wouldn’t participate otherwise.

Many suggested that her daughter stay home with her husband, so at least, she can go on her own.

“Why can’t your husband then stay home and be with your daughter?” said one commenter.

“Well, I don’t know, maybe your husband can stay and be a parent too. It’s not rocket science here. In fact, you can spend a night away from your child to attend a wedding, it’s not a job great, agreed another.

“Your husband can stay with your child, he is not a stranger, he is her parent and you can attend your brother’s wedding. Problem solved, a third agreed.

Some even suggested alternative solutions to this issue.

“Your husband stays at home, you go,” began one comment.

“You and your husband rent a hotel room and switch off.

“You and other family members with children rent a room in the facility (this works in hotels) and ask the hotel for help in finding a nanny. You and the other parents do not spend time in the room with many children and the babysitter. It means you all miss about 30 minutes of the wedding instead of everyone else.

“You find a local (for you) friend/neighbor you trust, rent a second hotel room and leave your child with them.

“If I were your brother, I’d call even your efforts foolish!”