Dear Abby: I am fed up with my fiancee’s ex-wife’s childish actions

DEAR ABBY: My fiancee’s daughter is having a baby. Her mother is helping to take a shower. My fiance and his ex have been divorced for 21 years. She was the one who cheated, filed for divorce and kicked him out. She threatened him not to attend her daughter’s wedding because he was bringing me. We have been together for nine years now.

I’m not invited to the shower because my ex doesn’t want me there. It is not even being held in her house. His daughter likes me but doesn’t want to upset her mother. I think it’s time for the ex to grow up and get a life. I told my fiance that this is all childish, but now I don’t want to go to the shower anymore because you can’t like me one day and then not. What should I do? – FORMER AFFAIRS IN THE MIDWEST

HONORED IT IS A ISSUE: Be the adult that your ex-fiancé isn’t. Soak it up and make plans with some of your friends so you’re not left alone feeling bad about yourself while the baby shower is happening. Buy a nice gift for the little one, offer it to the mother at another time and don’t make waves.

DEAR ABBY: I was recently in a traumatic car accident (hit head-on by a drunk driver within a mile of my house). As a result, my right leg was broken in many places. I bought a car with the insurance claim. Within a month and without warning, my mother bought me the exact same car that was involved in the accident. The catch is that my mom expects me to sell the car I bought and give her the proceeds.

First, this was portrayed as a gift. Now it feels like a debt on my head. Would it be rude or selfish of me to keep the car The did i buy, or do i keep the money if i decide to sell? Stimulant checks have been helpful, but my financial future is uncertain due to the life-changing accident. – WOUNDED IN INDIANA

HONORABLE WOUNDED: Keep the car you bought. Tell your mother you know she meant well. then GIVE her behind the car SHE bought, as well as the keys and the pink slide, so she can do whatever she wants with it. If you do this, it will cause less conflict.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem with love. I like two boys. The problem is they’re best friends and I’ve already kissed them both. I don’t know what to do. We are not dating. I can’t choose because if I go out with one of them, the other one will be mad at me and his friend. Help me, please. – THE STUDENT BORN IN SPAIN

DEAR STUDENT: You are lucky to have youth and the freedom to choose. No matter which of the guys you choose, there will be problems. This is why I suggest you get romantically involved with neither, find someone else to “love” and refrain from kissing that person’s friends. good luck!

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.