Dear Abby: I feel used after giving my ‘best friend’ money for her and her boyfriend

DEAR ABBY: I think the world of “Celia,” my best friend of 25 years. She has been there for me through many big ups and downs in my life. She is beautiful inside and out, well educated and hard working.

Celia has been in a five year relationship with an old friend I’ll call “Vince”. I think he’s a good guy, but not for him. He has no desire to do better in life, does not provide for her and lives on her money. Vince barely works and spends his time outdoors and enjoying himself, while Celia works two, sometimes three jobs.

Now Celia’s physical health is suffering, as is her mental health. Vince has a baby that sometimes stays over, and when the money runs out, Celia asks me to help cover it. She sees nothing wrong with this and wants to have a child of her own with him.

I have had many conversations with Celia, but they go nowhere. I have helped with money several times and she always pays me back. But recently, after she asked me for food for the three of them, I learned that they went to the movies.

Now I feel used. This is simply not right. I don’t want to give them any more money to cover the responsibility of an adult. I’m not sure how to tell her that I can no longer help with money. – TRAINED FRIENDSHIP

STRETCHED DEAR: Celia may be well-educated, but she seems to have serious self-esteem issues, little common sense, and a parasite on her boyfriend. That she would even consider having a child with Vince, a man who can’t support himself or the child he already has, is nuts!

Tell your beautiful friend that while you care for her, you will no longer subsidize the three of them, and using the money to pay for movie tickets was the last straw. Then don’t regret it.

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DEAR ABBY: I have taught tennis at a private club for 41 years. Then came the pandemic. I was fired and not asked to return to work. I was not given the usual parting acknowledgment that previous employees received – no goodbye, no thank you.

In consecutive years, I have requested a free membership as a gift for my years of service. So far, the answer is “no.” Is my request valid? Should I keep asking? – SERVICE OF JUSTICE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR SERVICE: You didn’t mention how many times you’ve asked for membership as a gift for your years of service, but if it’s been more than once, stop asking because it’s not going to happen. A leave is defined as a temporary leave for a specified period of time. Employees keep their jobs and benefits, but are not paid during that period. If that’s what your separation from that private club was called, it may be time to talk to a lawyer about how you were treated.

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Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.